My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
