god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
