Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Randomize
