There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
