i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
