Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
