you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
be right there i have to get my cape
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Randomize
