I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
