can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
