you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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