Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he thought i was a dude.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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