So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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