so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
