Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i barfeds in our rink
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
