I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
