Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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