I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize