we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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