The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
