Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
