How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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