By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
