I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
