you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
