I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She bit a glass in half.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just blew my weed a kiss
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
