the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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