dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
