oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
