He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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