I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize