does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
