for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
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