i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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