He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
