Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize