We're facebook friends in real life
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
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