Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
