i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
my liver is dry heaving
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
