She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
