this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
