a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
