No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
