he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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