Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
