Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
