Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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