So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
