i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
my shit smells like andre
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
