And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Well I just put wine in my tea
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
