Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
