drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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