i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
