The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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