We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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