Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
