i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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