So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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