Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
