Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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