Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
