Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
