I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
