Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize